On Friday, I held the closing session of a coaching journey. As we reflected on the work we had done together, one connection stood out to me: how greater inner balance can influence the way we work with others.
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Our conversation explored how feeling more balanced, both emotionally and physically, can support collaboration and make it easier to bring people together around shared goals. It brought to mind these words, often attributed to Maya Angelou:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
In leadership, that emotional experience can carry into the next conversation or decision. Feeling heard may give someone the confidence to raise a difficult question. Having space to think may help them take greater ownership of their work.
This is why inner development holds such an important place in my work as a leadership coach. The relationship we build with ourselves influences what becomes possible between us and others.
The presence we bring into the room
In Regenerative People, the book I co-authored with Janet M. Harvey, we explore regenerative presence as one of the core attributes of a regenerative person.
📖 Explore Regenerative People — Pre-order your copy on Amazon.
Regenerative presence begins with how we show up. How available are we to the person speaking? What happens to the conversation when pressure rises? How much room do we leave for someone else’s thinking?
We have all experienced a conversation that helped us feel more capable. Perhaps someone listened carefully enough for us to hear our own thoughts more clearly. Perhaps their steady response made a difficult issue feel manageable.
“Our way of being can help replenish the energy available to others.”
For a leader, this has practical implications. People may feel more able to raise a concern early or take ownership of a shared challenge. The quality of our presence helps shape the quality of participation.
Inner development in everyday leadership
Cultivating this presence asks us to become familiar with our own responses.
Under pressure, we may speak faster or take over a conversation. These reactions offer useful information about what is happening within us.
Coaching creates space to explore them with curiosity. What feels at stake? Which expectations are we carrying? What would help us respond with greater perspective?
Over time, this awareness can create more choice in moments that once felt automatic. We might notice tension in our body and take a breath before responding. We might recognise our urge to solve a problem and give a colleague more time to think.
That willingness to stay curious is an important part of regenerative leadership. Giving a question more time can allow an idea to emerge that neither person would have reached alone.
These are small shifts, with consequences for how responsibility is shared and how people work together.
Energy needs replenishment
Being someone who brings energy to others involves caring for our own capacity.
I think of inner balance as an ongoing relationship with ourselves. Some days we have more to give. On others, we need rest or support. Recognising those changing needs helps us make commitments we can sustain.
Nature offers a useful perspective here. Living systems move through cycles of activity and renewal. We can bring that understanding into leadership by paying attention to our own rhythms and making room for recovery.
A grounded presence grows through that everyday care, alongside the willingness to keep learning about ourselves.
A question to carry into your next conversation
Friday’s session brought me back to the close relationship between personal development and leadership effectiveness. As we become more aware of ourselves, new possibilities open up in how we relate to others and pursue goals together.
Before your next important conversation, take a moment to ask:
“What am I bringing into this exchange, and how might it affect the person in front of me?”
Afterwards, consider whether your way of participating helped them find greater clarity or energy to move forward.
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